Of Dolls And Repetition And How I Hate It.

Sometimes doing open edition dolls *doll that I make more then one of and they each look the same* makes me want to slash myself.I guess it’s not a challenge so I get bored with it and the repetition of it.
I wouldn’t do it at all but I feel guilty and bad if somebody wants one of something I have made in the past.Like with the Deco Dolls they are the same casting of the same original sculpt but I get to paint each one different and use different fabrics and clothing ect.
But the ones where I have to make it just like the other ones before it really make me lose it a little bit.I don’t know why I always thought it would be more easy since you already know how to do it and the patterns are already worked out,and you know how it’s supposed to be painted.But I guess my brain doesn’t work that way,it hates it.It’s also hard because everything is hand made so it’s actually harder to get things to look the same or even a bit like something before it.
I want to make my own original ball joint but I’m wondering if it will make me want to snap.Maybe not if I do it like the deco dolls and do the same face and body casting but paint it and dress it different every time.And then there is the dilemma of getting paid properly.Even if something has the same parts if it’s painted and dressed differently so it’s a one of a kind.And being a one of a kind you should charge out the ass for it.Because it’s ONE OF A FUCKING KIND.NOBODY ELSE WILL HAVE ONE LIKE IT.But try and tell this to the stupid fucks who the majority of their art is cheap prints or things like collectible action figured that are made by MACHINES IN A FACTORY.Which I why my under 100.00 doll work is getting fewer and further between.I shouldn’t even BE SELLING anything that cheap.It cost over 100.00 alone to run my kiln to fire the doll heads.I originally felt bad because I didn’t have anything say a collage student could afford but fuck it my jewelry which again is all original and hand finished is affordable.So if somebody wants a piece from me they can buy some of that.Nobody seems to hardly appreciate that fact that I kill myself on the lower priced stuff anyway,not to mention that doing a open edition makes me want to chew broken glass.Do you think any of them appreciate that fact that I’m having uterus pain and am still working on something that cost under 100.00?Fuck no they will just whine at me more because I dared to ask more the 50.00 for it.I have sold allot of dolls,I think just to prove to myself I could and people would buy my work,and I have paid by dues as a artist 100 times over,and have likely fucked myself for getting more for my original piece by offering lower priced stuff.So I don’t give a damn if I never sell another thing again.The under three and four figure work will become even more sparse.Like I said about the only think I really enjoy doing that cost under 100.00 is the jewelry since it’s my “fun” doesn’t have to be perfect work and the Deco dolls because I enjoy getting to sort of play dress up with those.

~ by Ugly Shyla on February 26, 2011.

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